Verbal-Communication

Verbal Communication

• Verbal language is a series of expressive thoughts and perceptions described through word symbols.
• Linguist experts divide verbal communication into two components:
  • Encoding (speaking)
  • Decoding (listening )

Nonverbal communication

• Non-verbal communications is described as any communication that does not include spoken word

• Actual spoken words = ~7%

• Tone of voice = ~ 38%

• Non-verbal behavior = ~ 55%

• Forms:

• Paralinguistics -- Tone of voice - 38%

  • A form of language in which meaning is conveyed through variations in speech qualities such as:
    • Loudness
    • Pitch
    • Rate
    • Hesitations

• Kinesics (55%)

  • The use of:
    • Gestures
    • Facial expressions
    • Eye movements
    • Body posture
  • In communicating emotions

• Haptics

  • A handshake
  • A pat on the back
  • an arm around the shoulder
  • A hug
  • Etc.

• Chronemics

  • Communicating status through the use of time, e.g.:
    • Making people wait
    • allowing some people to go ahead of others
    • etc.
    • Can piss people off before engagement even begins

• Iconics

  • Use of physical objecects or office designs
  • Display of trophies
  • Diplomas
  • Pictures with important people

• Dress:

  • Communicating values and expectations through clothing and other dimensions of pnysical appearance

How can communication be improved?

• ASsume the role of listener
• Maintain eye contact
• Use empathy to reflect and share feelings
• Ask questions to improve clarity of statements
• Paraphrasing what was said to ensure understanding

Types of listening:

Active	Defensive
Listening to learn	Listening for the "reload"
Listening to more appropriately and constructively respond	Listening to gain information which reloads your mental gun with new verbal bullets
Listening to understand another's concerns or interests	listening to better defend your position

How to actively listen?

• Concentrating on the message you hear
• Getting the main ideas (content)
• Identifying feelings
• Providing appropriate feedback

Effects of active listening:

• It helps people relax and develop trust
  • Number 1 objective at the start of projects
• It conveys empathy, respect, and acceptance of persons
• It helps identify and summarize each persons ideas, perceptions, and concerns
• It leads to a clear statement of problems and issues

Blocks to listening

• Comparing
• Mind reading
• Researsing
• Filtering
• Judging
• Day-dreaming
• Interrupting
• ADvising
• Sparring
• Self-protection
• Derailing
• Placating

Empathy:

• Appreciate and respect the other person's point of view
• Each of us has varying interests, needs, and responsibilities
  • Try to understand who you are listening to
• "The wise person seeks first to understand AND then to be understood"

How can communication be improved?

• Stop talking
• Put the other person at ease
• Show that you want to listen
• Remove any potential distractions
• Empathize with the other person
• Don't respond too quickly; be patient
• Don't get mad; hold your temper
• Go easy on argument and criticism
• Ask questions
• Stop talking
• Feedback
  • The process of telling others how you feel about something they did or said, or about the situation in general
• Constructive feedback guidelines
  • Give it directly
  • Make it specific
  • Make sure it is valid
  • Give it in small doses

The greatest barrier to communication is assuming that it has taken place:

• Double check when possible
  • Ask qualifying questions
  • Helps people feel apart of the group